Reflections On My 29th

I am in this state where I still can't believe that I'm just a year away from 30 :). Truly, oldness setting in! Amidst that, I wanted to take a minute to say a big THANK YOU to everyone who took the time to write me a comment or a message on Facebook or texted me in my phone. I have been so pleasantly overwhelmed by the outpouring of greetings and love.
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I have so much to be grateful for. First of all, I am thankful for my family. It's an incredible feeling to know that no matter what, you have people who support and love you unconditionally. Also, I feel thankful to have met my boyfriend, when I was 25. It's the most spectacular thing to meet a prince the first try, without having to endure toads. I have such respect and love for him. He's a true gentleman and I'm excited for our journey together. Above all, to God, for giving me a truly blessed life.

Being on the cusp of 29 makes me reflect on some of the interesting experiences, losses, achievements, and lessons I gained. Like how I tend to reflect on the past year as the clock nears midnight on New Year's Eve; i have been doing a lot of self reflection as a new chapter of my life story will begin to unfold. Without a doubt I knew that I was able to fill my 28 years with much happiness, excitement, passion, and hard work as I could. I spent my 28 years pursuing my dreams, scanning city every city for a suitable abode for my family, exploring and traveling the world (the country) with my significant one and friends, and carving a career for myself all at the same time. Was it 100% easy, not at all. My parent separated for indefinite period of time, my brother migrated to Canada for greener pasture, responsibilities at work are getting bigger, rewards are harder to attain, bills and cost of living are getting more expensive, and relationship problems are getting more complicated. But those dilemmas have made my transition to life a bit more exciting (I guess!) and rewarding. Through these experiences, I have learned so much. I developed confidence and self assurance by enduring all those conflict situations. The journey I have gone through has taught me to understand who I am, what I stand for, my values, beliefs, and standards. I feel like toward the end of my twenties, I have come into my own and have some answers to what I once questioned. 

Also, I believe my twenties were a great time where I established genuine friendships and discovered which ones who will go the distance. People have come and gone (unfortunately sometimes you lose touch and some I am pleased with were gone). To those who have chosen to continue to grow with me are truly cherished. These are friends that I know will be lifelong. I remember a saying I once read. If you can count your true friends  in life on one hand, you are very blessed. I know that having these true friends makes me the luckiest person in the world.

My ultimate learning? Embrace every moment with your loved ones. Over the last few years, I think I have become more aware of appreciating life and the people in it. After my parents' separation and my brother's migration; our family all being in one place at the one time had become impossible. It is only now that I realize and appreciate the times we are all together before. They are precious and I have to admit, in those moments I regret that I never try my hardest to soak them all in. I want those moments now be etched in my memory forever because I know that memory, they will all be. I also cant help but feel a little pang and lump in the back of my throat because I feel and fear that we (my family) will never be complete again. 

I will NEVER claim that I am wiser nor a lot more mature now. Hell no! There's a lot of mature and bright 16-year olds that I have met and also a lot of immature and ignorant 46-year olds. No. Maturity, intelligence, compassion, or ability can not be quantified based on the number of years, months, or days one has been walking this earth.

In the future, I hope for wondrous things to come. Making a difference and putting my mark in the world; achieving goals professionally and personally, a family of my own, time spent creating memories with loved ones, to travel and delight in the opportunity to learn, grow, and experience.

Before, the idea of nearing 30-dom (if there's such as word!) is a big dread for me. It seems as though, becoming older is something that is supposed to be feared or dreaded. Well now, I can truly honestly say, I don't think so anymore. Maybe, years of living independently; facing your fears and problems by yourself; and getting up after each and every trial have toughened my resolve and beliefs. Age to me is simply a number. There's no need to be afraid of a number, an age, or the idea of getting older. It is nothing to fear, rather, it is an opportunity to own your life! 

As the sun rises on my 29th year and 1st day tomorrow, I feel appreciation for the past, contentment for the now, and excitement for the future. With lots of change on the horizon, I have a sense that this final chapter of my twenties will be the best yet...