How Did I Not Know

Heinrich's Incident Triangle explains: 

One high-severity incident is always preceded by 

29 minor incidents and 300 near-miss incidents. 

Before my relationship fell apart, there are smaller signs - 

like pieces of a puzzle I had missed.

Looking back, I can see the pieces  now:

🚩 His cellphone faced down more often...?

🚩 Last-minute, sudden cancellation of plans...?

🚩 Saying sorry like a habit..?.

🚩 Someone's unfamiliar trace...?

🚩 Watching the same movie he'd seen...?

🚩 Becoming secretive...?

🚩 Got busier at work...?

The cracks were forming, but my heart refused to see.

I loved the man I thought he was, not who he was becoming.

Still, I had hopes for him and gave him the benefit of the doubt,

making excuses to believe in our future,

But one day, the inevitable happened. Like trash tossed aside, 

he ended it all. He just shove the years we spent together into a garbage can.

The pieces of the puzzle clicked into a painful reality.

While I dreamed of growing together, our future together, 

he had already moved on with another. 

Of course we had problems - every relationship does.

But did that justify this brutal betrayal? 

Regardless...

Even if someone will die tomorrow, 

It's murder if you kill that person today.

Even if we had our issues, should he end things terribly?

Sure! I can't say I had no idea at all.

He was becoming cold, and I was more on edge.

Despite that, I tried harder.

I  worked on meeting his demands.

Yet, they say trying is not love.

Perhaps, what he shares with her is embodiment love?

That's the only thing I can think of 

for him to easily throw away what we had.

He must really love her...  

Perhaps, I too was also at fault...

Maybe, it is me who turned him into that kind of person...

Maybe, I ruined everything...

I shouldn't even think to become friends with him.

My conscience cannot bear the burden of molding him into this monster.

It's time let the past be past.

I cannot heal by clinging to what was of by blaming myself.

All I can do is let him go, and move forward in a way that honors my own worth.

The pieces of our puzzle no longer fit.. it's time to start a new picture.